Today, for blogmas, I thought I'd share a little bit behind the reasons I started this wee blog. Under The Scottish Rain was started almost two years ago. Through that time, I've found myself creating new friendships, experiencing new things and challenging myself.

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It was a big decision to make a blog. In fact I originally wanted to make a youtube channel so I could chat away to a camera - but luckily I didn't, as I'm finding out through my failed attempt at Vlogmas that editing and even just talking to a camera isn't as easy as all those youtubers make it look. Saying that, blogging isn't an easy ride either and finding the motivation, time and inspiration to post can be quite difficult. I've gone through dry patches when I've not known what to even blog about, and worried that people were judging what I wrote.

Do I still get embarrassed about this hobby? Yes. Should I? No. And yet I find myself worrying when a post hasn't done as well as my others or what people will think of the posts where I've tried to experiment. I suppose it's only natural to compare yourself with other people, and in some respect it does encourage me to create better content. What I'm most worried about with this blog is the fact real life people that I know might judge it. It's one thing for internet people to judge it, but I don't know them. I can't see their faces or imagine their voice, because I don't know them. One of the hardest things I did this year was share my blog on my facebook for all my acquaintances and friends to see it. The reaction wasn't what I hoped for - and although I'm proud of my content and following, I didn't get any type of reaction from some people I call my friends. I don't know why this bothered me, but it did. Some people have been quick to make comments on a drunken night to my face - so its no wonder that I felt self conscious. At least the people that count in my life have been nice about this right? So why do I still feel the need to gain approval from these people that I'll never see again, or make no effort to stay in touch with? I guess its just in my nature. But I continue to blog because I've started to realise that although its right to see what other people think, its not the be all and end all. I blog to make me happy - so why bother with what other people think.

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The main reason I made this blog was to connect with others like me. And I am so thankful I have continued to blog. Its so lovely to chat to people on twitter about our shared interest, and even better to meet them in person. When I began this blog, I was homesick. I was struggling with the huge change of uni life and looking for a distraction from the tears. A few years on, and university isn't a huge hurdle that I couldn't lift my leg over any more. I've been taking everything in my stride this year, and want my blog to reflect that change in my person. So writing some personal posts about how university is coming along, or even writing some advice for those dealing with the same problems I did, helps me and shows me how far I've come along. I've always treated this blog as an online and not very private diary. It's a perfect keepsake to look back on in years to come and see what I did through my uni years, and hopefully further.

I've always called this an 'everything' blog. As recent as last month when I was asked what I liked to post about, people are always baffled when I say everything. But why shouldn't I write about it all! I like nothing more than to read a blog that dabbles in bits here and bits there, so I don't want to restrict myself to a specific genre. I always said when I created this blog - no way am I fashionable enough to do OOTDs and yet this year I've started posting some, because its not about the clothes I wear but the confidence I have wearing them.

I think I can sum this post up to say I blog to blog. And all the benefits that come with it.  And I want to continue to blog for as long as I can and to see where I go. I wanted to take part in blogmas this year, partly because I actually have the time, but mainly because I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to see what posts I could create, if I could get one up everyday to rise to this challenge then I'll be so proud of myself. So far this is my 9th, so it's going well ( I don't want to jinx it) but I'm finding it really fun to think of different things to share. That's why I'm not strictly sticking to a christmas theme, although most of the posts have that element to it. And I'm quite surprised that I've shared so much in this one post, which is why its going up as soon as I post it! But as I've said, that's why I blog. And if I can look back at this in years to come, or even let my kids see it then I'll be super happy and super proud.

I'd love to know why you blog too? Please share in the comments what you think, as I'd love to know if you agree with any of my points, or if you too feel self conscious at times. Also I'd just really like to connect with more bloggers, because this community is pretty fab.

Blogmas Day 1 - The Christmas Tag
Blogmas Day 2 - Edinburgh's Christmas Market
Blogmas Day 3 - My Top Five Christmas Films
Blogmas Day 4 - Foodie Friday At Peter's Yard
Blogmas Day 5 - Managing University
Blogmas Day 6 - Winter Scarf Wishlist
Blogmas Day 7 - My Favourite Christmas Songs
Blogmas Day 8 - Preparing For Exams

Love,
Emily
xxx

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